Watching Movies in Oman

Going to the cinema in Oman can be an interesting experience. As a single Muslim gal, I never went by myself without one of my shebab (the guys) for keeping things kosher, or a rather large-ish group of banaat (girls). Because, well, go by yourself and you get one thinks-he's-sauve-and-brave Omani fella trying to chat you up or buy you popcorn ect, and it ruins the experience. As a non-muslim expat, I admit I never had this experience, but seems if you wear an abaya and a headscarf you instantly turn into dating material, go figure.

So, then my other option was renting movies.

I would have rented more but most places demand that you buy a membership. Which I did once, but since I always forget to carry my member card, and change my GSM # too often to remember it, I get stuck with puting 20-10 rials deposit down for a single rental. Which, I don't always have the fuloos (money) to do.

Watching movies off the net.

Anyone whose been in Oman for a week knows that the average internet connection suckssssssss, and is painstakingly slow. So downloading movies takes time, and for me, honestly, as a Muslim, I can't do it, cuz in most cases (not all) it is stealing.

And I love the part where I can't hear the film because te bad pirated copy has people in the theatre laughing and I see some asian guy get up and walk across the screen to get more popcorn. Awesome!

So then. I turn to buying movies when I have the cash. I spend a little extra at a store for what I am guaranteed is NOT a pirated copy.

I get home and find that the not-a-fake is a fake and feel kinda bad. And wish a little I HAD bought the cheaper OBVIOUSLY fake one.

But, you know what, there is always one part of watching a pirated film that makes me so giddily happy.

There is that add at the beginning that thanks you for buying the original and not a pirated copy. It says, thank you for not stealing. THAT PART, dear readers, I find absolutely hilarious and timelessly funny to see, on any DVD. That they pirated the "thank you for not pirating" part.

BEST part of the movie!

APPARENTLY, I am not the ONLY ONE who has to screen creepy come-on text messages from guys in Oman.

:D

Poor MOP [MOP is my husband in case you just started reading this blog] recently got the following text message from a tourist to Oman:

Handsome [insert name of MOP], thank you for your hospitality today. Your wife was with you.I wondered if I could have a moment to say goodbye in private? Kisses Habibi [-I, OPNO, am not going to write the poor fool's name]

So it was confirmed. Our tourist, was, most likely, gay. He had already asked if my husband would camp with him on his tent rather than in my tent with me.

LOL. Okay, I have been teasing my "handome ____-" about this incessantly ever since. And now I am puting it on the net, poor habibi!

Where I am from this is not really a big deal, but it is an embarrassing topic for most Omanis.

Poor MOP, when he got the message he turned bright red and held the phone out to me. I had already been asked to come along for the two men's excursion [which is a rare thing since my husband is a very jealous Oman man, lol, but he thought something was off with his tourist, and asked me to come along for protection.] Hehe he, apparently that was "needed". MOP made me promise never to leave them alone when usually, with Omani men, you don't introduce your wife to men.

My man, while he likes very much to be exceedingly polite and very helpful to every Westerner and/or traveller, he did not know how to reply the message, and has turned his phone off.

Good Part-time Business Idea: lol, please don't ACTUALLY DO THIS

B is not talking to us anymore. B is one of our Shebab. I am not supposed to be talking to him anyway, since I've been being a good girl, and I wasn't but...

B said he would phone Z back after Z changed her phone (Z and I are one of the boys you see, though OPNO is not one of the boys to ALL of the boys since OPNO is too bloody feminine and guys in Oman are such idiots excepting a very select few) but he didn't.

B is not talking to Z because B is one such idiot, and Z can't control her laughing whenever she tries to talk to him since she pulled the most awesome prank on him the other night. Z's brother M played the exact same prank on B only a month ago, so this time it is hilarious.

Z recently changed her SIM card so when she texted B (a relative of her's) a message he didn't recognize the number and she could tell that from his response to her Arabic "hey, how are you?"

So she decided to be a naughty brat and texted him back like she was a girl. She pretended she was a Philipino girl and asked B if he was married.

He said no.

B is. B has four children.

Z yells for M to come read the message.

Z, M, & OPNO shake their heads together. M suggests asking B to send a picture of himself to the ficticious Philipina chica that is actually Z&M messing with B. B does. Z asks M if she can send the picture to B's wife. M says no. Z is only joking. Then Z, who is low on credit, asks B to send her credit so she can phone him.

B sends her credit.

Z and M phone B and laugh their faces off at him.

B is ashamed and hangs up.

Yes, this is what bored Omani girls and guys do to mess with their friends.

M informs us, that he has an Omani guy friend who is quite rich, always has cash in the bank and phone credit.

Apparently this guy can imitate a girl's voice so well that he never has had to pay his cellphone bill in his life, and never runs out of cash for the weekends.

A pretty good business idea B, huh? LMAO.

LESSON LEARNT: do not ever give your email address out to some people in this country even if you call them friend

Oh YA ALLAH, YA RUB [translation, oh dear God!] do not ever give your email address out to some people in this country.

Yes, I get over 50 forwarded email pictures messages/chain mail thingies a day from the same person. Pictures of cats and babies eating watermelon.

Shout out to Majda from her awesomely funny blog http://majda-says.blogspot.com/2010/08/seriously-guys-seriously.html for the great post about friend spam I stole this pic from.

Yes, Arabs forward MORE emails than ANY OTHER PEOPLE I HAVE EVER KNOWN!!!!

Quote of the day, via text message

Now, dear readers, do not be alarmed, the following was sent via text message, from a dear Omani friend (or two, or four, who ALL spell the same way):

from M to OPNO: I miss ur cocking.

from other M OPNO: What did you cock today?

from R to OPNO: what did u cock for ur frends?

Oh, oh dear lol. It seems it is THE common way to spell "cook" in Oman since more than 5 people have made the same error. Now dear Omani readers, this is as funny to English readers, as me saying I like to eat "cous cous" meaning the Moroccan dish, and "crackers" meaning the saltine Biscuits, to you.

When Love Gives You WORMS

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, lol, :XD, the most romantic text message ever from an Omani husband to his British wife:

Honey, I miss ur worm hug.

He meant, "I miss your 'warm' hug."

OPNO and BritWife laugh together @ romantic spellings on text messages.

More Arab-Ish Text Messages

From my screened messages collection of taxi drivers I made the mistake of thinking would not phone stalk me if I called them to pick me up from Sultan Center on a grocery run:

Good evnig i mis u how ar u i want see us plz i want spik weith u plz

Translated by me: Good evening. I miss you [don't know how, I took your taxi only two times and the second time told you not to speak to me rather rudely]. How are you? I want to see you please. I want to speak with you please.

I gust wan spiek witd u ather beutifl grils meen nathing to me belive me since i see u i love u i think nathing of atherz. I whant to see u plaz.

Translated by me: I just want to speak with you---other beautiful girls mean nothing to me, believe me! Since I saw you, I have loved you and now I think nothing of others. I want to see you please.

Now, I probably COULD give this to the ROP (I've certainly shown my ROP friends) or get a new sim, but honestly, the bad spelling and grammer kinda of amuse me. So I've left if it on my screened calls.

If you liked this post you might also like

What I lost in Translation, is my ability to speak English

http://howtolivelikeanomaniprincess.blogspot.com/2010/01/dumb-things-omani-men-have-said-to-me.html

Dumb Things Omani Men Have Said pt. 2

What I lost in Translation, is my ability to speak English

When I am typing text messages I have started to writing like my Omani friends. It drives my English-speaking friends insane lol. Somewhere in the middle of translating Omani-English messages, I started thinking in the same bad grammer and spelling he he he. Some commen examples that I shall translate for ya'll:

Is it warmth there?

This mean "is it warm there?"

u ali the time make me to lugh

This means I am very funny and "all the time" make my friends "laugh"

i will tray

"I will try"

take it esay, whay yeh need it

"Take it easy, why do you need it?"

no, i am not eat

"no, I haven't eaten."

till me

"Tell me."

Is besaid me

"He's beside me"

sorry i wake up u?

"sorry, did I wake you up?"

Am tootley taird

"I am totally tired."

I had thies falling...

"I had this feeling"