Lulu's Cassanova

In Barka, "Cassanova in Mussayr" is apparently a regular fixture. Savant of the dating scene that this Omani fella is, he sauvely chats up the lady at the dehli under the ruse of buying portadello, or offers to pay for one Omani sista's groceries, 40 rials.

"Shukran-thank you" she applies curtly, before leaving him lonely.

Ah, lol. Poor guy. I ALMOST feel sorry for him.

You have to be some kind of desperate to try the dating scene at your local Lulu Hypermarket.

A thing for hats... & about the Shebab ; ;, nudge, nudge

My Omani husband (aka MOP) has a thing for hats (and obviously white English-speaking women right?). I think it stems from his crush on Kate Winslet's character "Rose" from the Titanic movie. BTW, he had no idea there was a nude scene in that movie, or a sex scene, because it was of course cut out in Oman. This the closest to nude that she got: in the Oman friendly edition. Scandalous, I KNOW. LOL, believe me, the site of a wellformed ankle can hit an Omani guy off, so don't laugh about it, it is true. It is almost like wearing your underwear to the 7/11 in the USA, lol, I am serrious, a nice ankle.So Winslet's character was very idealized to MOP. He also has NO idea that I am writing about him or things he has confided to me, so if you know both of us, um, yeah, please be kind, and rewind, and forget I ever brought up the Kate Winslet thing. Anyways, I am writing this post because yesturday I saw two beautiful young expat ladies (like myself---only I was fully veiled, including my face) differentiated only in how they were dressed. One was in a skirt exposing her upper thighs but long in the back, and her midriff, and the other was wearing loose fitting linen trousers and a long T. They were both lovely, but one was dressed too sexual for an Omani grocery store. I was actually offended but the midriff exposed one, but hey, I was in a face veil, and didn't want her to think women who wear face veils are intolerant so I didn't say anything, but to be honest, there was only one man and one woman who wasn't bothered by her dressed like that. Everyone else, even the expats were going like, WTH? Al Fair isn't Rockbottom or the poolside at the Intercon. I don't creep people out in my face veil in NA, I pin pretty pins to it and flowers and wear colours to be less offensive to North Americans in my Muslim garb. And as a non Muslim expat I never showed my midrif AND inner upper thighs at the same time. It is just kind of rude. It isn't bad, but it is inconsiderate. What is pipctured below is NOT appropriate for GROCERY SHOPPING in Muscat!!!! Ahhhh, please don't give expats like me a bad rep okay? And you will, I know Omanis. And in case you don't believe good 'ole extremist me, from my very arab husband the following:

"Most Omani guys who don't understand your culture will veiw you as a peice of meat."

On from that rant a friend of mine were discussing the Shebab (Muslim Arab guys) and how sometimes the players are better than the seemingly innocent ones, because at least the players had enough game to have neverslept with a prositute. I am serrious. Guys, if this is not you, please don't be offended, but, it is the majority of guys that were my friends. They either were cool enough to have dated, or they, ugh, well, let's not go there but they er, went to Dubai & Thailand. Anyways, we came to the conclusion that all the truly innocent ones marry very young IN ORDER to avoid being in the two above categories. Which isn't the real reason a woman wants to be married to a guy but...

This post is depressing.

I love my husband, whatever category he fell into before, alhamdulilah, he is my man now;)

Good Part-time Business Idea: lol, please don't ACTUALLY DO THIS

B is not talking to us anymore. B is one of our Shebab. I am not supposed to be talking to him anyway, since I've been being a good girl, and I wasn't but...

B said he would phone Z back after Z changed her phone (Z and I are one of the boys you see, though OPNO is not one of the boys to ALL of the boys since OPNO is too bloody feminine and guys in Oman are such idiots excepting a very select few) but he didn't.

B is not talking to Z because B is one such idiot, and Z can't control her laughing whenever she tries to talk to him since she pulled the most awesome prank on him the other night. Z's brother M played the exact same prank on B only a month ago, so this time it is hilarious.

Z recently changed her SIM card so when she texted B (a relative of her's) a message he didn't recognize the number and she could tell that from his response to her Arabic "hey, how are you?"

So she decided to be a naughty brat and texted him back like she was a girl. She pretended she was a Philipino girl and asked B if he was married.

He said no.

B is. B has four children.

Z yells for M to come read the message.

Z, M, & OPNO shake their heads together. M suggests asking B to send a picture of himself to the ficticious Philipina chica that is actually Z&M messing with B. B does. Z asks M if she can send the picture to B's wife. M says no. Z is only joking. Then Z, who is low on credit, asks B to send her credit so she can phone him.

B sends her credit.

Z and M phone B and laugh their faces off at him.

B is ashamed and hangs up.

Yes, this is what bored Omani girls and guys do to mess with their friends.

M informs us, that he has an Omani guy friend who is quite rich, always has cash in the bank and phone credit.

Apparently this guy can imitate a girl's voice so well that he never has had to pay his cellphone bill in his life, and never runs out of cash for the weekends.

A pretty good business idea B, huh? LMAO.

Omani Dude Driving+Girl+Ghala=traffic gridlock

I have written too many posts today already but...

Usually I have my lunch in Al Khuwair or Al Athaiba. Today I found myself stuck in Ghala WALKING with no driver. As per usual, traffic here was pretty backed up.

Some young fool in white SUV with the window rolled down in my direction wasn't making it any better.

There were some women in another SUV behind him, and Omani guys the whole stretch back.

This young fool was Omani, and thought he was all handsome and charming enough to pick a girl up in his car.

I did the ignore thing as he greeted me in Arabic. Since the traffic was so slow his driving was my walking pace, so I actually stopped walking for a bit so he'd go on ahead.

Well, he decided to stop, holding up the whole bloody line up of traffic. Saying something undoubtably smooth in Arabic to win me. Good thing I don't understand fool talk.

I was getting annoyed because people in the line up were probably blaming the resultant gridlock on me so I revealed my English identity to Fool with a wave.

"Drive on!" I hollared at him, motioning and giving my most strict look.

He started driving again at my walking pace.

If my shebab were around they'd kill you, I was thinking, remembering a sweet little blue car manned by 16 year olds hunted down by an angry Al _________ & Al __________ when B and I made the mistake of mentioning the colour and make of a car that had stalked us in MQ.

He was HAPPY to reveal that he spoke English and started chatting me up, young fool.

I cut him off drily.

"You know, I converted to Islam and I think its sick that guys like you bother a girl in a abaya more than you did when I wore short skirt. Shame on you."

He went to use the line of only wanting to help.

"Do I LOOK like someone that needs YOUR help? Young fool, I am HELPING YOU. Shame. Your mother and sister: treat me the same.

Drive on. You don't want to make me mad. Believe me, I can take care of myself, whereas if you keep bothering me, you're the one whose gonna need some help."

He opened his mouth to say something and I waved him again.

"Drive on!"

He gave up and rolled up his window. The women and three cars with Omani men drove by cheering and clapping, because apparently our exchange was loud enough for everyone on the road and in the nearby coffee shop to hear.

Usually at this coffee shop I get one or two OLD FOOLS trying to take a table next to me. Today I didn't:D

RANT: I can't marry her in Islam because I slept with her

from the Shebab:

OPNO and random nameless Shebab are discussing marriage (not TO EACHOTHER!!!). Shebab says to OPNO he's only loved one girl before, but he can't marry her.

"Oh no!" Goes OPNO mentally. What other retarded cultural Omani crap (high maher, not the right skintone, not the right tribe last name) was she about to encounter?

None.

Shebab: "I can't marry her, because I am Ibhadhi [sect of Islam] and our tasfeer [understanding of Qu'ran varrying from sect to sect] says that a man cannot marry a woman he's slept with before marriage."

OPNO looks confused, but she knows exactly which part of the Qu'ran that tasfeer could come from.

"OPNO: "Because the Qu'ran says the "pure men are for the pure women and the pure women for the pure men?"

Shebab: "Exactly."

OPNO: [raising one eyebrow]. "Who are you going to marry then? A virgin?! Or some chick your friends have slept with already? I may be Sunni, but that verse is kind of obvious. That means YOU (definately not pure dude) can only marry a woman same as you. Um, the girl you loved? She'd BE that. Anyways, why do you think the ROP sometimes "force" couples caught fooling around into marriage anyways?"

Shebab looks at OPNO and wished her the best (or better) in her love life, and absorbs her thought, as strange as it is.

I don't know about the other Muslims out there, but this is strange one to me. Since I am not Ibadhi, what is a man supposed to do who had premarital sex (besides be flogged)? The Qu'ran does not allow him a virgin, and this interpretation allows him not even the girl he slept with, so is he supposed to marry a girl someone ELSE slept with, and the girl LIKEWISE? Sounds stupid to me. Sorry. Explain it if I got it wrong.

A Shebab-less OPNO? Oh NO! And cheating, from the male Omani perspective

I have alot of Omani guy friends. Correct that. Had. Sweetness of Salalah will be proud of me, but I have gone back to my Islamic self (with the exeption of still listening to music) and that means I have bid adieu to my shebab (the guys I knew before and after Islam here in Oman). Most of them totally understood and respected the decision, especially on the last note no Omani guy can argue with:

"I want to be a good muslimah like your sisters in Oman."

Even if his sister is a total you-know-whatever he'll never argue this point on you.

Anyways, I'll still get my newsfeed from them, [and yes B aka L I changed my GSM because a new life requires new fittings and that international text message was from Princess] because two have guessed OPNO's identity. WHO KNEW YOU READ ENGLISH A & Y!!!!!!!!!!!! AM soooooooooooooooo proud of YOU!!!!!! A, much love. Your kind words of encouragement meant the world to me. And Y, of course, if you want your CD back, you can come visit for that at least once more. I kinda forgot to give it back to you. And now you don't know my phone number:( M: you know what you meant. I wish you the best.

I still of course, also get to relate the many entertaining cultural bits we exchanged over the years, me and my shebab.

One was four different Omani guys (all of which I love more than breath) and their takes on cheating. Here goes:

1.) KH and L and I were discussing cheating. L is like Princess (maybe she is an OPNO too??????) and KH is an Omani guy who I'd die for. Yes, really I would. WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYY?!!!! All the Omani shebab of Ras Al Hamra wonder? That is for OPNO to know, but he was her bestfriend.

L and OPNO asked KH what he'd do if he ever caught his wife cheating or in love with another man. If she was just in love with another man, his first instinct would be to make get the other man the only way he could, through her, managing her body and her life. OPNO reminds him this wouldn't fix things. He knows that, is just what he'd do. If his wife physically committed adultery and left him for another fool? He'd let her go. The two girls nodded, thinking how far from their expectation of his countenance this would be.

But this last part left L and OPNO with their mouths agape.

KH: "But if she ever tried to come back to me I'd kill her with my own hands."

2.) There was an Omani girl the boys all went to school with India. She had a boyfriend. Everyone knew it, except her cousin back home she'd marry. Before the wedding she had hymen repair surgery, married the guy, and then went right back to her boyfriend. She got pregnant NOT by her husband. The kid looks nothing like the husband but none of our shebab (who know) have the heart to tell the guy because he loves the girl completely and thinks she was only ever his. Better not to know is the mass consensus.

3.) One of the guys I counted as the bestest of the best of the Omani guys I know (still do, I prefer to think the best;) ) he's given up on marriage, because one fiance played him for a fool. Now he takes every girl as maybe cheating on something or another, even if she loves him with every breath of her being.

4.) One Omani man from Al Batinah, he loved a girl. Proposed to her after two conversations, went against his family... he loved her that much. Realizing how much he'd have to sacrifice for her, she decided to break away, because she loved him. The only way to do this was to have a secret from him so terrible she'd never be able to tell him or marry him bearing the burden of it in silence. She she decided to sleep with another man. But the Omani man from Al Batinah, he came to her home the night she was with the other man, and heard her making love to the other man. He saw and heard her with another. Yet, to this day, he loves her, and forgave her, and they are married now. Like KH though, his first reaction was the same. She was pregnant within the first month of marriage.

To all my Omani male readers: what would you do, what is your opinion, since, cheating [it IS] so prevalent in Muscat?

WARNING: SEMANTICS mean something in Relationships in Oman

FOR ALL MY EXPAT GIRLS AND OMANI GFs:

If you are a girl, and you are afraid of getting hurt in love and you describe being hurt in love like falling and getting your body torn up on the rocks, and you ask your Omani dude (potential love of your life to be???), "hey is it safe to fall? Because I don't want to hit rockbottom [not the nightspot]?" And he says, "You can fly." It means he damn well does intend to drop you. But you are a big girl, and can catch yourself.

And you know what, girl, you DO have wings. YOU CAN FLY.

FLY AWAY FROM THIS DUDE BEFORE YOUR GET YOUR BODY BROKEN ON THE GLASS WINDOW IN FRONT OF HIS HEART YOU ARE GOING TO SMASH INTO EVENETUALLY!!!!!!!

Watch out. Semantics are important in relationships in Oman. And Omani guys rarely differentiate between friendship combined with lust as love, and love as in I want you with me for the rest of my life and I can never be with anyone else kind of love until it is near over (unless they propose first and make good on acting that out).

Ramadan Thought: Lower Your GAZE!!!

Now for the losers out there that claim these girls deserve the kid on the camel's eyes on them, what do you say for the fully covered women below [dressed like your sister or your mother or your wife]? explain the dude in the car's behaviour to me PLEASE. What if those women were your sister or wife or mother? You'd be pi**ed. I know the Omani-male mindset VERY well. So I have NO RESPECT WHATSOEVER for those guys that gawk at me or my friends, making total tools of themselves.

ALLAH SWT SAYS THAT No WOMAN regardless of what she is wearing is allowed for the Muslim male to gawk at, paw, or hollar at.

That goes for women too.

I'd rather....

Yes, rather than a gold maher, I want my man to be thoughtful enough about me to bring me flowers everyday. Or my fave food. Or at least something he knows cheers me up. Am not big on material things, but kindness and compassion and being always in his mind? Big on THAT.

My newest driver brings me a new long stemmed rose everyday, to the annoyance of a potential suitor or two. I am starting to get teased at work.

E: "OPNO, where flower?"

OPNO [embarrassed, points to coffee cup where rose is]. "."

Quote of the day: Men really do buy love at first sight here in Oman

OPNO: "I am not a romantic you know? I don't believe in love at first sight. Men are really idiots [lol]. They do believe in that stuff here in the Gulf, like they want what they see in movies. If that were true, I would be the ONE for 20 different men. "

Y: "So what do you believe in then?"

OPNO: "I believe in love in the first three conversations and after 1 kiss though. Oh yeah, and one good argument. Can't leave that one off. I believe I am the one that screams 'I love you!' in the middle of a real good fight. If you can still like someone and be terribly angry with them at the same time I think that counts more than any love at first sight nonsense."

Y: "."

OPNO: "I blame my father. If my mother had raised me better, I would have married for money or in state void of ambition, in the very least, someone with good looks who was stupid enough to believe in love at first sight. Alas, he taught me common sense."

Y: "Blessing you are to mankind."

OPNO: :XD

For Omani Guys: How NOT to PROPOSE to a girl part 1

Dear Guys,

While your attentions have been flattering (generally not, I am being nice), you SUCK at proposing to a modern (but still traditional girl). I am writing this post because I FINALLY RECIEVED A FEW DECENT proposals, lol, but that is for the daily diary not, here. This post will be about the hilariously BAD marriage lines I have been given over the years, me and my friends.

I have recieved MANY proposals of marriage since I moved to Oman, and these are combined with my friends' experiences. They often begin the same way. Here is how NOT to propose to a girl, from most common, to least common:

Beginning of BAD marriage proposal #1: "I have a house."

'Uh, ok, so do I.'

Stating that you have a house is great and all, we women love a man who lives on his own and can take care of himself and isn't living off his parents. But this is marriage AND OUR futures you are talking about. This is a detail we'll want to know about later, sure, but stating it first is like saying all we women care about when we are marrying you is getting out of our father's houses and having a roof over our heads. Generally speaking, most girls don't like to be thought of as that miskeen. LOL, and I have BEEN the definition of independent 'miskeen' for a long time now. We want to know why you want to marry us, and THEN what you can do for us. If a girl is only interested in what you can do for her, um, she's GENERALLY marrying you for the wrong reasons.

BAD marriage proposal #2: The marriage proposal so far has gone great. You like the guy, he has what you are looking for. Then he reveals what a backwards tool he is by finishing arrogantly, "You should consider it soon. You are not that young anymore.... Men don't like to marry women after 25."

'Uh! So if I was a little bit older (you would be too, you jerk!) you wouldn't consider me? women expire like milk! Oh so KIND of your offer now, tool.'

Too bad when I FIRST heard this line I was SIXTEEN years old! And many years have past and I am still getting offers.' LOL:XD

We women certainly do not like for you to imply that our inherent value to you is embued with our age which is something that will CHANGE. We went to be seen as having PERSONALITIES, ideas, and then after you appreciate that, individual physical features. We are looking for someone to enoy spending our lives with. Not someone who makes himself seem small-minded and incompatible with these basic emotional needs a woman HAS.

Bad marriage proposal #3: similiar to bad proposal #2, saying your reason for marrying is because we are "beautiful" and "fair" or because our "family is important" makes us feel you are marrying us to USE us for your own upping of social status, not because you ACTUALLY value us. And maybe you do, but just can't communicate it???????In my case, bad marriage proposal #4: Guy really doesn't try to list any of his merits. He just opens with "I will give you an Omani passport." I look at him like, what an idiot.

I came here on my own. Arab guys from non-Gulf countries are ALWAYS trying to marry me for MY passport. I love Oman and don't need an Omani passport to feel like I can do something for this country, that I am part of the landscape and culture, LOL. I love Oman. And the culture. Doesn't mean AT ALL that I will marry ANY OMANI MALE that asks me LOL:XD ;p

Ahhhhhhh, hehehehe.

Funny/really DUMB reasons Omani guys have given the women of OPNO for their proposals:

"Your nose is nice."

"I like way yu talk."

"The maher for baby girls in my family will be good because you are so white."

"I cannot afford to marry Omani girl."

"You wear abaya." And MUST thus be a good Muslim right???? Uh, ASK ABOUT THE RELIGIOUS opinions of the woman, don't just assum her religion is spot on cuz she has a scarf on her head. Makes you look like the FACADE of religion is all you care about, not the real core of the person's values.

That's about it for now.

Broken Hearts in Oman

You don't exactly SEE adds like this one posted on the board outside Al Fair... but I hear enough to say, c'mon ladies (and my fellas): the one that is worth your tears isn't the one who will ever do anything intentionally that they know will make you cry.

For all the men and women out here in Oman playing games:

You should never break someone's heart. It is a great sin indeed, because the human heart belongs only to Allah subhanhu wa ta'ala, who loves His Creation, and wants for them love that is pure of selfishness.

from Hadith qudsi:
“I am with those whose hearts are broken for my sake.” (At haf 6/290)

Recipe to prevent a broken heart from one OmaniPrincess:

Love doesn't make you, though it can break you, so don't make it into some kind of idol you bow down for or make sacrifices to. Never make a man or a woman your everything, because no person is forever. If they leave or are taken from you, there goes your everything.

My Advice for All WOULD-BE-CASSANOVAS in Oman

My advice for all would-be Cassanovas and wannabe Romeos in Oman:

Stop honking at me when you drive by. It scares the $&^%^U&^ out of me.

Don't creep after a woman in your car, window down, and say "Lsimat ya ukti." As far as I know, "stalker" IS never on the list of criteria my friends have for what they are looking for in a boyfriend (those girls that are indeed looking for a fling---this isn't how Omani men and women get married after all).

And if you are going to call a girl your sister "ya ukti", don't even be thinking of @#$%^&*( her. Incest is trait women consider unattractive.

If you pull over in front of me and cut me off in a very intimidating attempt to impress me with how confident you are, be sure not to side-swipe me and run me down. This hurts, and instead of buying me dinner and taking me shopping, as I'nm sure you were about to offer, the only thing you'll be paying for is my hospitol bill, got it?

*****Honestly, I have no real trouble with men in Oman, excepting marriage proposals in taxis, and guys scaring me to death with their car horns, and nearly running me down in an attempt to try and pull-over to talk to me LOL. Please note, I know many wonderful kind Omani men who would never stoop to this creepy behaviour, but some of these losers ruin it for the rest of them. But women, when men act like idiots, treat them like idiots.

I have a lovely story about how I dealt with one would-be stalker.
First off, he is following me for a half a mile in his neon green car. I ignore him and he pulls ahead of me and pulls over and waits for em to walk by, saying stuff in arabic. I ignore him completely, no eye contact, no verbal respsonse. this is usually enough for most would-be Romeos but this fool won't give up. Finally, I yell at him "I don't speak Arabic!" cuz I know, if he doesn't speak English, all I am going to be able to say is "shorta" (police) and "ayb" (shame) in Arabic. The idiot in the green car pulls ahead again.

"I speak perfect English."

I walk up to the side of his car as if this changes everything and smile sweetly.

"Oooooh, I am so glad, because then you'll understand me if I want to tell you something about myself."

He nods slowly, a dopy, sleepy smile crawling across his seedy face.

I continue. "I am a Muslimah. And I don't talk to men, and you are not supposed to either, so have some taqwa (fear of Allah/the OneandOnlyGod)!"

He keeps trying, and the old-ukti line comes out. "But Sister! I only wanted to help you."

Uh huh. Yeah right. I smile sweetly at him again. "Then forgive me, Brother, if I am mistaken. But should I pray men offer to help your mother and sister the same?"

The shame dawns on him and he crawls further back away from the window of his car. I start walking again. if they speak English, works on those that don't give up everytime.

Dumb Things Omani Men Have Said pt. 2

(Some of these are from my friends)

Omani cab driver (ABOUT 80): "I am very good with the ladies. I only take ladies in my taxi. Can I marry you?" My friend's reply: "You can, but I won't!"

Guy from Salalah: "I want to make a friendship with you." My friend's reply: "I don't know how to make a friendship, I'm sorry."

A friend of ours: "Women expire at 25." "So we are like milk?" "I mean, um, uh, Arab women." My friend: "I'll start collecting my cats now then, thank-you." Her response didn't translate, but he got it from our glares.

Random Arab guy: "L'smat ya ukti! Blah blah more arabic and something to do about asking my name." Me: "I don't understand you. I speak English." "Are you Morrocan?" "Yes, that is why I am speaking English instead of French or Arabic!"

A friend of ours: "The job of Omani men is to save women!" It was just the way that he said that made it so funny.

A doctor: "You are from Kenya?" My friend: "No, Canada." "Is it easy to immigrate there?" "I don't know, I was born there." "It is a nice country yes, I want to know, do they need doctors?" All before asking my friend WHAT WAS WRONG WITH HER ON OUR VISIT TO HIS CLINIC!!!!

Male Friends in Oman

article taken from http://ilovehishmatheblog.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2009-07-17T08%3A39%3A00-07%3A00&max-results=7 . A good reminer for myelf!!!!!!

ARE MALE FRIENDS HALAL?

Today's topic is going to be friendships/relations between Muslim women and non-maharam men. One of the questions I recently got paged with, was, "is it halaal for me to hug my male friends?" This question disheartened me because I could not in good conscience, just say, no, it is not halal for you to touch non-maharam male for a social or even Islamic purpose (the only purpose being, accidental touch from crowds, or a medical reason for contact such one or the other of you is tending to the wounds or condition of the other) because that still would leave this sister in a state she is obviously trying to avoid, but I will answer her question first:

Question: Is it halal for me to hug [/touch] a male friend? as a Muslim woman?

Answer: Even with the best intentions, and the purest hearts, the answer is no. The Prophet sallalahu alahi wa salaam said: "It is better for one of you to be pierced by a steel pin in his head than to touch the hand of a non-maharam woman." [Al-Mundhiri mentions that all the narrators of this hadith are trustworthy. Al-Albani classifies it as a good hadith in Ghayah al-Maram (no. 403).] The same goes for women touching non-maharam men, other than tending fatal wounds or in conditions in cases of emergancy, which other ahadith allow, such as in the battles of Jihad against the Quraysh. Even for Islamic instructions and occasions, men and women did not touch. The Prophet sallalahu alahi wa salaam never shook hands with an unrelated woman. Umaymah b. Raqiqah said: "I came to the Prophet sallalahu alahi wa salaam with a group of the women of Madinah to swear fealty for Islam. The women informed Allah's Messenger sallalahu alahi wa salaam that they wished to swear fealty to him. The Prophet sallalahu alahi wa salaam said: 'I do not shake hands with women. The way I accept the pledge from one woman is the same as with one hundred women [which was documented to be verbally]." [al-Muwatta', Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Sunan al-Nasa'i and Sunan Ibn Majah]. It is known that when men wanted to enter into Islam, they used to do bay'ah with the Prophet where they agree to abide by his commands and avoid anything he prohibits. Then they used to seal this by shaking hands with the Prophet. However, with women, the Prophet used to never shake their hand and simply complete the bay'ah with words. And who can have a more pure heart than Prophet Mohammad sallalahu alahi wa salaam, who said "I do not shake hands with women"? The Prophet's wife Aisha also said: "No, by Allah, Prophet Mohammad's hand never touched a women at all, and he used to take bay'ah from them by words". May Allah subhanhu wa ta'ala make the answer apparent to one who seeks it, and easy to obey, ameen.

The person asking the question mentioned male friends. A Muslim woman does not share her personal life with non-maharam men, as mixing of men in women in Islam is in most cases haraam (sinful/harmful to mankind), and the rest makruh (disliked). The Holy Qu'ran describes the role of men and women like this, "The Believers, men and women, are protectors one of another" [Holy Qu'ran 9:71]. It also states that women and men were created to be spouses of one another, but I'll admit, I am too lazy too look that ayah up cuz I'd have to make wudu to get my Qu'ran out, lol. I'll try and add it later, inshaAllah or someone else can try and beat me and add it in the comments section:D It does not say anywhere in ahadith or Qu'ran that men and women's role towards eachother should be anything more than as protectors, or if married or related, caregivers and providers. Friendship between spouses was cherished in the forms of being playful with one another, confiding in one another, pleasing eachother, and physically taking care of one another. Unmarried men and women who played the role of protectors in society, were discouraged from entering on the private places of one another:

Narrated by 'Uqba bin 'Amir: Allah's Apostle said, "Beware of entering homes or rooms in which non-maharam ladies are." A man from the Ansar said, "Allah's Apostle! What about (Al-Hamu) the in-laws of the wife (the brothers of her husband or his nephews etc.)?" The Prophet replied: The in-laws of the wife are death itself.” In this hadith we see that men were told not to purposefully go to the same places as non-maharam women. This also applies to women, as explained after the next hadith.
Narrated by Abu Huraira: A group of women came to Allah’s Prophet and said to him: “We cannot attend your majlis (gathering) of men, so, appoint us a day to come to you (alone).” He said: “We will meet at the house of so and so.” He went to them on the specified date and place. Among what he said at that day to the present women was “any woman who rises up three children for the sake of Allah will enter paradise.” One woman said: “And two?” “And two,” the Prophet said. This hadith illuustrates that is was known to the women of the Sahaba (may Allah be pleased with them) that they also should not purposefully enter into the company of non-maharam men. They also knew not to speak uneccessarily in the presence of non-maharam men. Narrated by Abu Huraira : The Prophet said, "The saying 'Sub Han Allah' is for men and clapping is for women i.e." (If something happens during the prayer talking is not allowed, except the men can invite the attention of the Imam by saying "Sub Han Allah (i.e. Glorified be Allah )", and women, by clapping their hands). But saying that exchange of asalaam alaykom may be given between men and women when there is not fear of temptation, and conversation may occur with good intention. Narrated by Asmaa: Allah’s Apostle passed by a group of women near the mosque. He waved his hand to them in salutation and said: "Beware of being ungrateful to your husbands, beware of being ungrateful to your husbands.” And, Narrated by Anas bin Malik: The Prophet passed by a woman who was sitting and weeping beside a grave and said to her, "Fear Allah and be patient." So we may socially inform, question, and Islamically greet and advice our non-maharam brothers and sisters in Islam, but this is the extent of the mixing between men and women in Islam. It certainly was NOTHING like a "platonic" relationship between a man and a woman popular outside of Islam.

When scholars warn against the free mixing of men and women, they are not talking about the mere presence of men and women together in the same place. This is something that is definitely not prohibited by Islamic Law. Men and women gathered in the same place at the time of the Prophet sallalahu alahi wa salaam in the mosque and in the marketplace. They walked down the same roads and public thoroughfares. The mere presence of men and women in the same area is not a great cause for temptation. It would be wrong to treat this as unlawful mixing, since the reason for prohibiting free mixing does not exist in such circumstances. If someone were to prohibit men and women from frequenting the same public places under the pretext of preventing temptation, this would be taking matters to an extreme and imposing a restriction that is unduly severe. Such a policy is, moreover, unnatural and would impose great hardships on people's lives.

We cannot compare situations like these to the general presence of men and women at shops and other open public places, especially when women are accompanied by their family. In such cases, there is no intimacy, no crowding, and no reason for suspicion. Preventing women from public places frequented by men in order to prevent temptation would be taking things to an extreme. A woman is commanded in Islam not to come too close to men. She is not, however, prohibited from going to places where men are present as long as she does not approach them or place herself in a position where she is alone with them. There can be no doubt that preventative legislation is an important part of Islamic Law. There are numerous rulings in Islam that are preventative in nature. However, this does not mean that we can legislate against every remote possibility of wrongdoing that we can think of. Doing so would be a violation of Islam's tolerance and magnanimity and its ease of application. It would place too great a burden upon the believers.

People might differ as to the degree of mixing that is prohibited. We can, nonetheless, get a good approximation of proper limits by reviewing the laws of Islam that govern the relationship between men and women. The sacred texts provides ample evidence about how and when men and women can meet, how women should dress and conduct themselves when they go outside, and many other pertinent matters. It is impossible for free mixing between men and women to occur if Islamic Law is properly observed. (the last bit was taken word for word from here http://www.islamcan.com/youth/prohibition-of-free-mixing-between-men-and-women.shtml). As I felt it was a good explaination, and contains more evidences than I have provided. Just think about it (I know it can be hard, being a non-muslim with male friends in the past myself) but in the Holy Qu'ran Allah subhanu wa ta'ala says "Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them." and says: "And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty." [Surah al-Nur: 30-31]. This shows us how men and women are to conduct themselves. So how I am going to bestest best platonic budies, with a man I am not supposed to be looking at, and who I am speaking to only in a modest manner (speech not soft and informal on the basis of subject---I am not speaking to him unecessarily, only to inform, teach, help/do a job I must/ give dawah, greet, ect)? I am not. I am going to be his protector in the public sphere. Only if I am married to him, or his sister of daughter or neice, ect... am I going to by pleasing and easing and playful. He, the same to me.

Here are some great posts on the subject I enjoyed reading by others sister:
LET'S GET REAL ABOUT FORNICATION -what counts as fornication and adultery in Islam http://liveloveislam.blogspot.com/2009/04/original-post-by-sister-bint-halal.html
LET'S CHAT -adab between brothers and sisters online and outside
http://liveloveislam.blogspot.com/2009/05/lets-chat.html

Dumb things Omani men have said to me... Pt. 1

Cab driver: "I must give you a ride! You will ruin your complexion... Do you have any friends in Oman?" Creepily, "I can be your friend."
Mutrah Souq stalker/guy: "Pretty lady..."
Pizza delivery guy: "Can I give you a ride home?" No. "Can I have you phone number?"
Random 40 yr old Omani in Sedan: "I want to practice my English." In perfectly good English: "Here's my card."
Another 40 yr old sedan guy: "I have seen you around before and have always wanted to talk to you, and now you are alone. You are very beautiful... Don't tell your mother!"
Some diplomat: "I will go to your father and offer to pay for your University and buy you a house, and one for your sister too. What do you say? Can you read palms?" WTH?!
Jordanian/Omani guy: "Do you know this person?" ...getting jealous of the other fool driving after me while I'm jogging. "Nevermind, I pulled over to talk to you. Mind if I walk with you?" Forgets about his car...