Everyone in Oman that I know seems to have a maid except for me. I could have one. I can afford it. But I don't really need it, so I just go, 'nah'.But what I really need to do right now is go slap some guy.
K, first off. Dear blog audience, let me tell you 2 stories, and YOU TELL ME, when is it okay to slap somebody.
Story #1
There is a pretty young American girl working for my company. She's the one who makes minutes for the meetings, distributes the faxes to the right people, edits company documents. Outside of her working time, she met an Omani guy for coffee. Whether or not one can judge this Omani guy's intentions [I usually go for the worst 1 year into the country now], she likes him, and they go on dates. This does not interfere with her work at all, and actually, no one can prove anything at all that they've kissed or slept with eachother ect, only that they had coffee once. He is not a co-worker, she's always been the MOST AMAZING person in the job that we've ever had. Also, she is also that one at your company, that if any of the women working there had something bad happen in their personal lives, that they go to. Say their husband was divorcing them, or their dog or cat got run over, she was always the one who'd make extra time to console and offer advice so the others in the office could get back to business as usual.
But what do these co-workers, her office family do, when one day, her boss comes up to her and slaps her hard across the face, leaving his handprint there, do?
They laughed. They actually laughed.
They laughed because the boss said to her after he slapped her, in reference to the Omani guy she had coffee with because she was lonely and far from her friends and family, "You came here to work, not make a slutt of yourself. Your behaviour damages the company reputation."
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End of story number one: PLEASE NOTE, STORY #1 is just to make the GCC ARAB audience THINK of maids differently, as people.
Now my question, being that girl's behavior did not hinder her job, and thus, should not leave her accountable for the company itself, can I slap the crap out of that guy?
Can you say, that a company has the right to control what she does outside of her working hours providing it is not breaking the laws of Oman even if she might be hurting herself and doesn't know it?
If you are one of those who said, slap the crap out of the dude, and, of course not OPNO, let me tell you story number #2, story like it really happened:
There is a decent looking young Philipino girl working for a maid agency. She's the one who runs after the children, changes their diapers, cleans up after the entire family, cooks everyone food, and still has the patience for kisses and hugs during tempertantrums. She is also the one that female family members go to for some kind words to cheer them up when something bad happens in their lives. Outside of her working time, she met an Omani guy for coffee. Whether or not one can judge this Omani guy's intentions [I usually go for the worst 1 year into the country now---and if I was her family, I'd go slap the Omani guy or demand he offer to marry my maid if he wants to court her since this is actually a requirement of HIS religion], she liked him, and they met twice. This does not interfere with her work at all, and actually, no one can prove anything at all, that they've kissed or slept with eachother ect, only that they had coffee twice with lots of folks around. Unlike some other *BAD* maids I've known, the Omani guy is *NOT* the husband of the Omani woman she works for. She isn't hitting on family members. She is lonely, had a horribly hard life, and hopes that some decent, kind, well-off stranger may marry her and save her children back in Philipines from a life of poverty. Which is similar to what *ALOT* of Omani women I am friends with dream of too BTW. She isn't doing anything that deserves a whipping in Islam such as fornicating (you need a witness to that) but nonetheless, she is returned by her "family" to the maid agency. But a "family" member half-laughs when they hear that...
The boss at the maid agency slaps the poor miskeen girl hard across the face, saying, "You came here to work, not to make a slutt of yourself. Your behvaiour damages the company reputation."
END OF STORY #2.
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CAN I SLAP THIS GUY?
Can SOMEBODY!
Because somebody should. Slapping a woman is like, the lowest of the low, unless of course, it is me, OPNO, slapping you dude first and for no valid reason, then, btw, hit me back, I am up for it.
But I doubt she insulted you crimey maid service operator. She never hurt you at all, or even her family. The only one she COULD HURT was herself in this case.
I wanna slap him sooooooooo bad. Just cuz you own a visa doesn't mean you own a PERSON. They have hours and beyond those working hours, and WITHIN the laws of the country, their lives are-and SHOULD BE-their own.
The girl deserves to find her Prince Charming, albeit, I TOTALLY don't think the coffee Omani dude was that, more like your run-of-the-mill wolf in sheep's clothing, but I mean, every girl deserves that.
And before you accuse people of bad things, think about it. If this girl WAS a Muslim woman, yeah, she shouldn't be dating. But does she REALLY have a family to match-make for her back in her home country???? {the maid in this story I knew personally, her intentions would ONLY BE honorable, even if she trusted the wrong man, as women are wont to}
And if she was NOT muslim, is it any way YOUR right to blame her for ANOTHER Muslim's (the guy she went on the date with) behaviour?
Actually, I know alot of maids in Oman, that married good, decent, previously unmarried husbands. If you are a Muslim family, SHAME<> on YOU for NOT WANTING THAT FOR YOUR MAID.
So I soooooooooo totally want to slap the guy that slapped the maid at the agency.
But I know, he'd probably get me arrested if I slapped him.
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You mean, OPNO, the ROP TOTALLY CONDONE phsical abuse of women?
Well, in the cases of maids and some other imported workers, dear readers, I will tell you how Omani minds work on the issue, and dearest, beloved Omanis, who I esteem and love for all the good of you, and wish to change all that is wrong with you, do not take offense.
To Omanis, the maid, regardless of her religion, is usually seen to be a member of the household.
That means, that while she is most often not TREATED as a female family member, she is expected to behave like a female family member.
If a female family member went out on a coffee-date with an Omani guy, her brother might slap her.
This, to the ROP, is a "it's for the family to fix it" kind of thing. Most Omanis get it, even I do. I don't think it's right, I mean, go slap the dude she was with too, if you wanna be fair and just ect... but if the Omani female family member was lonely, and wanted to find her Prince Charming, her Omani family would help her find someone good ideally, someone who would not take advantage of her.
This "family member" per se maid is not treated as a family member in the same regard. She is often not regarded AT ALL socially, so her lonliness, and often the poverty-stricken circumstances of her life, are even worse, and yet no one worries for her finding something better in life. She is treated thus, as an object on loan from the maid agency, not truly a family member.
So I don't believe "family" justice should apply to maids in Oman AT ALL.
I should TOTALLY be able to SLAP that dude that slapped the poor maid.
What would I have done? I would have taken the girl aside and warned her about men that use women, and then I'd endeavour to see if the Omani coffee date was serrious or not, and if not, I'd help her to find a real, decent man who could help make her life better.
But then, I treat maids as people in the first place.
Well, you know what, in Islam, unless she IS a Muslim, SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! in the religion. You can make her, but you are an idiot to do so. Ask her. Present her with options. She is more likely to do so then, and know what, maybe even CONVERT if you treat this non-muslim entity in your employ with ALL her rights in YOUR religion. Duh. And besides focussing on the hair covering part (which denotes that you ARE a believing Muslim woman, obedient to God, not your employer or husband or any fashion whim), why not simply try for more modest clothing. Which to me is a great alternative, and if you let the maid have a say, you'll both be happy. I GUARANTEE you, your male relatives and inlaws are waaaaaaaaaaay more likely to check out her body shape than her hair, so if you're really worried about that, ask her to be respectful in THAT regard. Your religion might not MEAN anything to her. Hijab is hot and if you aren't doing it for God, don't bother. Try a breezy hat instead as a compromise maybe?
I once asked a maid why she didn't become a Muslim since she believes in Islam. Her answer: "I've worked for people who pray five times a day and are the most evil souls alive."
And you don't own a maid, even if you sponsored their visa. It is a job, just like anywhere else. Which means you can't yell at them, abuse them, tell them what to wear and where to go on the hours they are NOT working. And fulltime in Oman, DOES NOT mean, NEVER HAS A BREAK OR DAY OFF. It means so many hours a week, not to exceed such and such a time without compensation in extra salary.
My SIL just tried to talk me into getting my husband to get me a maid. He already offered. I was like, "Don't I make the house nice?" He's like, "Beautiful Habiti." And I am like , "And don't you love my cooking [of course, when we don't dine out]?" He's like "mmmmm." So honestly, I don't really want another woman taking care of my children if I can make time for them, or serving my husband food or drinks, or washing his car, when those are thing HE CAN LOVE ME more for. I'd make an exception if I was a super important business woman/or dignatARY WHO HAD TO ENTERTAIN alot, and leave the home, so the children were alone for five hours at a time (I don't want kids if I have to leave them alone longer than THAT). But I am not. So. For now the answer is "NO".
